Day 919

Today was a full day full of emotions. Saying goodbye to Jimmy (Lilly had a hard time too!), VA appointment for Mac, Walker, loving a friend beyond measure and finally an evening with Asher! We were creating a book together when the following conversation ensued.
Asher: “Hey Nanny! I love making books with you!”
Nanny: “It is one of my favorite things to do!”
Asher: “I am writing in bubble letters…see? I am also making kitten pictures and adding a puppy just for you. I know you love puppies!”
Nanny: Asher, I don’t know how I could love you more, but every day I do.”
…after a long pause and a longer shared gaze from my six-year-old grandson…
Asher: “Hey Nanny…are you holding your ‘cry’?”
Nanny: “Not anymore…”
Growing up, we were encouraged to “hold our cry.” My parents were very loving, but tears were not part of our childhood. As I walked through life, I followed that mantra until I finally asked myself “Why?” and answered my own question from the heart. There was absolutely no good reason to hide tears when joy, sadness, wonder or love brought them to the surface.
Now, I don’t “hold my cry” anymore. Sharing a depth of feeling with others is simply a form of honesty. It is my hope that others would feel just as safe to share that type of honesty with me. I always carry tissues!