Day 832

When I am out of the Goldens’ sight, I am told they become anxious and desperate to follow me. Right now, I am in the sunroom surrounded by all four. If I should choose to stand, they would anticipate my exit and all jump to their feet to see what comes next. Sweet pups!

We humans have some of the same tendencies. When our loved ones leave the room, we all wonder where they are going. Typically, we casually inquire where they are headed or, at least follow their movements until we are relatively sure where they have “landed." It seems comforting to know where everyone is.

Perhaps this “pack mentality” is a link to survival in ancient times. Even so, I like to know the location of the beings in my home in today’s world . Somehow, it gives me peace of mind.

When we lose a loved one, it takes time to relinquish the need to know where they are. With my dad, I would round a corner and, before there was a moment to be rational, search for him in a usual spot. Of course, grief would find me anew and I would chastise myself for lacking rationality. As the years passed, those instances happened less frequently and eventually turned in to wonderful memories. From tears to smiles, we react to loved ones whenever they leave us.

As for my dad, we all feel his presence from time to time. In dreams (where he outlined a detailed plan for our doggy door), in a feeling that he is close by (almost feeling his gentle touch), to a wafting fragrance of his pipe smoke (we have all smelled that unique aroma).

I don’t look for him in his usual places anymore, but embrace the idea that he in close by from time-to-time. After all, The Big White House IS on the town’s Ghost Tour!