Day 240

1/10/23

One year ago today, we said our final goodbye to our dear Shirley. It had been a very long farewell, due to her dementia, but it was still so difficult when she finally passed.

For a number of years, she had rented our little house next door. There, with her three dogs, she seemed happy and content. Her step-daughter and I took care of her every need and she, in turn shared her love and wisdom.

This lady was one strong person! She had lost two husbands and her daughter (Becky) during her lifetime. Most people might become bitter or depressed, but not Shirley. She loved life, children, dogs and people. She always continued to put one foot in front of the other to make this world a better place.

As her mind and memory slowly betrayed her, life took on a new rhythm. The calls became more frequent for help with her television, phone and dogs. We never felt frustration when she needed us. We'd fix her problem and the gratitude would flow. She would knock on her head and tell us it just wouldn't work right.

Eventually, we would take meals over to her house. She was so grateful and seemed to enjoy the visit while she ate. Mac took over everything that had to do with "paper" and her dear stepdaughter would take her on outings to medical appointments and the grocery store. My job was to get her (and the dogs) up in the morning, make sure she had a meal or two and then tuck her in for the night. We were a pretty efficient team.

When she was no longer safe in the house, she moved to a couple memory care units and finally ended up at an amazing residential home where everyone was treated like family. My own mother had resided there until it was time to say goodbye and I knew it was a lovely place. When I first came to visit Shirley at Eagle Street, I was greeted at the door by staff and then escorted down to Shirley's room. Tears were brimming over as I realized she was in the same room as my own mother when Mom needed to be safe.

Over the years, Shirley and I became like mother and daughter. Every night, I would tell her how much I loved her and there was often a tear in her eye. She was so strong and I admired her for her resolute spirit.

I learned so much from that little lady. Here are a few of her truths:

Don't be afraid to be alone.
Always be honest and truthful.
Never complain.
Speak your mind.
Don't be afraid to be a character!
Be proud of your independent spirit.
Love your dogs.
Give whenever you have the opportunity.
Love all the children.
Garden and grow beauty.
Don't be afraid to tell people you love them.

That last one really hits home. As we grew closer, I would say those words and she would respond, "Me too". Eventually, she would tell me she loved me and I cherished those moments.

For all who were lucky enough to know Shirley, you were lucky indeed. They just don't make characters like this lady anymore!

So, tonight, I tell her I love her once again and somehow I know she is saying it right back to me.