Day 1012

Gus accompanied me to visit some of our senior friends this morning. When I reached for the leash and his special collar, he came running and headed for the door. He absolutely loves doing this work.

In Memory Care, there is a younger lady who has some challenging physical issues. Although I am not privy to her diagnosis, it seems similar to individuals I have observed with Parkinson's Disease. She tries so hard to control her limbs when we are near, but sometimes can kick out in her excitement. Her joy is evident and her reactions tempered with love, so we have no fear of being hurt. We have become used to her struggles and greet her at her side.

Today, she was in her room and heard Gus give a bark of welcome to a resident who joined the group. She wheeled out and called his name, so we made our way to her side. We visited for a few moments and then, after one more hug and a few scratches behind the Golden's ears, I almost missed her parting comment. Communication is an effort, but she called after me, "Laurie, thank you for bringing Gus to see us...it means a lot!" I stopped in my tracks, retraced our steps and leaned in for a hug. She told me she loved me and I told her I loved her too. I had no idea she knew my name! That moment warmed my heart!

When this lady called me by name, my heart absolutely melted. It meant so much to me that she KNEW my name and also that she took the time and effort to call out to me. It was a humbling moment and one I will not forget.

What is it about a name? Remembering someone's name is the epitome of respect and kindness. Using someone's name means that they are important enough to be remembered. When a name is in our mental archives and used in future meetings, it connects two people in a special way. Using someone's name tells them that they are memorable and important. That is a gift!

The only problem for me is how to file away the names of people I meet so that I can make them feel worthwhile and memorable in the future. My mind is usually going a million miles a minute, so I have set a goal to connect a person with the name I have just heard. It is easy to match a person to a name if there is some kind of connection. Otherwise, I have a few tricks I pull out to help the old brain do its work.

*I repeat the name upon introduction and make an association such as alliteration. ('Barbara' from Brainerd)

*Perhaps rhyming can help. ('Barry' is ready to marry)

*Physical associations (Maybe 'Bernie' reminds me of a St. Bernard)

*Introduce them to someone else to make the name stick.

*Review new names a number of times after meeting.

*Jot a note in your cell phone!

*If all else fails, do what we do! When someone comes up I clearly can't remember, Mac reads the "Deer caught in the headlights look" and introduces himself. They then say their name and life is good!

Remembering names is not easy for my 'right-brained' personality. I can tell you how they made me feel. I know if they are happy or sad. I can tell you what they were wearing...but the name is a battle! Knowing how special it makes you feel when your own name is remembered, it's worth the fight!