Day 541
Decisions have been such a fast-paced action in my life. Being an elementary teacher, I not only had to make countless choices throughout my day, but I also had to be deciding what needed to happen 30 seconds into the future. Young students need quick transitions to the next activity or you lose them!
My background might just be the reason it is sometimes challenging to slow my brain down. While doing one task, I am already planning out my next actions. This might also be the cause of second-guessing myself from time-to-time. As I complete one daily experience, I have allowed myself to embrace the next. However, having that 30 seconds or so to move forward, there is room for self-questioning. For example:
*Realizing there are 45 minutes to fit four dog walk in:
"I will walk Sam first to burn off some of his Zoomy energy."
*While walking...
"I should brush Lilly when I get back to prepare for her Walker visit."
*Arriving home and grabbing the doggy brush, I reconsider...
"Maybe Gus should get his walk in before the crossing guards leave. He always needs practice with his Meet-and-Greets."
*Taking Gus out the door...
"Lilly's back is still a bit sore. Perhaps I should have walked Ranger with Gus."
*Being too late to backtrack for Ranger...
"On no! When I offer the leash to Ranger, Lilly seems to want a walk too. She shouldn't overdo it, so I will just stick with Plan A!"
This self-talk/discussion/second-guessing, continues for the entire hour of my walking. Since I plan ahead a trifle too much, the voice in my head tends to take on a disappointed tone. It seems my brain, going at about 100 miles an hour, rationally points out the end game is the same. Four dogs walked (Lilly got a solo walk to Walker.), Lilly brushed, Gus practiced his manners successfully, Ranger got my MOSTLY undivided attention during his walk with me and I made it to Walker on time!
Whew! My brain exhausts me sometimes. Going full speed, it relentlessly pushes me forward towards the next moments of the day (I made notes to sweep the sidewalk, pick up after the roofers, fill the green bin with leaves AND move some outdoor furniture inside for the winter during my first walk this morning!). My sweet husband simply shakes his head and asks me to slow down or, at least, sit down for a moment!
New goal: Live in the moment as best I can. I have set this goal before, but I tend to easily slip back into old habits. For what it's worth, I stood on the clean driveway and watched the wind whip leaves off the trees and swirl them around the yard. After a minute or two, I thought about grabbing a rake to corral a few of those errant leaves. However, I actually took a deep breath, enjoyed one more look at the beautiful leaf storm surrounding me and headed into the house to love my Goldens. I am a work-in-progress...slowly moving in the right direction!
Confession: For the last 30 seconds of this post, I have been planning just how to get the Christmas tree decorated before Asher arrives in the morning! A work-in-progress indeed!
